24) Mail-order beef wellington

I'm grimacing as we speak. There must be a curse on our household because -- no matter how hard we try -- we can't get this "steakhouse" to stop sending us their monthly catalog full of meats they'd love to ship to us in a box.

23) Prescription-strength eyelash medication.

This should be self-explanatory, but in case it's not, here is some of the gut-wrenching promotional material from the website (http://www.latisse.com/):


"Hypotrichosis is another name for having inadequate or not enough eyelashes.
Great eyelashes don't just happen overnight. That's why it's important to note that LATISSE® (bimatoprost ophthalmic solution) 0.03% works gradually and remarkably — with full results after 12 to 16 weeks. Once you begin treatment, you must continue applying the topical solution each night and follow the directions for best results. Remember results are gradual over time. If you stop using LATISSE®, your eyelashes are expected to return to their previous appearance over several weeks to months. Your eyelashes will experience real measurable growth. LATISSE® works from the inside out. As the treatment progresses, you'll begin to see changes in length, thickness and darkness gradually. After week 16, you'll see the full effect of LATISSE® — and so will others. There are possible side effects. The most common side effects after using LATISSE® solution are an itching sensation in the eyes and/or eye redness. This was reported in approximately 4% of patients. LATISSE® solution may cause other less common side effects which typically occur on the skin close to where LATISSE® is applied, or in the eyes. These include skin darkening, eye irritation, dryness of the eyes, and redness of the eyelids.If you develop a new ocular condition (e.g., trauma or infection), experience a sudden decrease in visual acuity, have ocular surgery, or develop any ocular reactions, particularly conjunctivitis and eyelid reactions, you should immediately seek your physician’s advice concerning the continued use of LATISSE® solution."

22) Multi-grain bread

Don't get me wrong; I'm a fan of the stuff. But everytime I go to the supermarket, the number of grains has multiplied exponentially. It's like the Mach-12 shaving razors people make fun of . . . there's no end to how much they can add in a Sisyphean effort to blow away the competition.

In this case, instead of razor blades, it's 10, 12, sometimes 15-grain baked goods. Eventually, it's going to stop being bread and all we'll be left with is something more like gargantuan granola bars that you have to eat with a pick axe.

21) All things Celtic

It's the surreal overlap of bastardized WASPs and (Druid-wannabe) Wiccans.

But why do 95% of Celtic things always look so cheap? Something tells me you'd be hard-pressed to find any of this junk that's manufactured outside of Asia. I can just imagine the underpaid factory workers looking at the bric-a-brac and wondering, "Who are these people?"

20) Cheetos lip balm

Now if we could only get moist towlettes that have been dusted in orange powder, then the circle would be complete.

In terms of bizarre consumer products, this is second only to the Dasani water flavored lip balm. I've heard Coke adds salt to Dasani to give it flavor, but unless the lip balm stick just tastes salty, I can't imagine what the benefit to water-flavored lip balm is.

I feel incredibly disgruntled just having to write about this.

All this was reported by John Kessler at the Atlanta Journal Constitution.