14) Juicy Couture

Haute non sequitur.

13) Professional pool, televised

I started to say the seemingly inexhaustible coverage of the World Series of Poker, but that seemed much too predictably apocalyptic. (You know anything sponsored by a large beef jerky corporation is going to be transcendental).

12) Sneakers with wheels built into the soles.

Some advertising company could market jet packs well enough so that children would persuade their parents to buy them . . . That doesn't make it a good idea.

As a rule of thumb, children should not careen.