33) Name-brand sink drains

Sorry to break it to you, Price-Pfister: of all the indignities of life, I don't count advertising on my bathroom sink drain as the most tolerable.

32) YKK

Why isn't the Department of Justice looking into this all-out, no-holds-barred monopoly in the market for zippers? Ninety-five percent of the clothing I own has a YKK zipper, and this is how it's been ever since I was a wee one.

Can you imagine the pricing power these thugs must have? I say they're just begging for an anti-trust lawsuit.